So yes there has to be a moment when you got to be honest about things, and when it comes to man let's be honest you knew... You knew he wanted a night stand not a date, yet you went... You knew he was still with the girlfriend, yet you decide but it was better to believe he was not... You knew he was bad for you, and you went in a relationship with him... You knew he wanted to be just a friend and you still got a crush on him...You knew he did not love you and yet you fell in love with him... You knew, I knew let's be honest, OK I will be honest I knew...
I learnt something with the last few guys I dated I like those who I can not have and I do not care for those who are dying to see me one more time, I sleep with the one I know wont break my heart because he is not enough to make me feel, I feel for all of them somehow. If I am honest I like to make them all into one.
I want his eyes and the way he listens, I want his brains and the way he spokes in several languages, I want his devotion for me and his stability, I want his desire to travel and be simple, I want his hotness and his ignorance of a broken heart, I want his naive expression and his bubbly thinking, I want I want I want... but I knew I could not have...
Some of these men have been gracious enough to gave me their hearts and sometimes other things, but some has took more than they have given me, but If I am honest all of them taught me a lesson, when you are a friend you are just a friend, when he spokes to you he spokes to a lot, if he is devoted then pay more attention, if he travels he is escaping and he is not asking you to escape with him, if he is hot he is just hot, if he is bubbly he is a bubble and it pops.
I still have a list of mistakes to make and most of them have a name and last name, most of them will be something I want and something I can have. something I do not and will be there waiting for me to pay attention to.... If am honest I do not see myself with a happy ending like most do, I do not see swearing love forever and ever... If I am honest all that scares me and if it does it means I am not ready and every guy that comes my way would be just another lessons... If I am honest the only mistake I do not want to make is that because of a name and last name I forget there is much more to life I already deal with a broken heart so If I am honest I knew I had my hopes to high but I am cool I also know I will survive it wont be remotely close to what was broken before because the true is I have less of a heart, more of a shield, more of a brain and less of a lie... If I am honest I know how to be honest now.
G.P
